Who Holds the Rings During the Wedding Ceremony

Introduction

A growing number of couples are choosing ethically sourced diamonds and bespoke rings as a visible reflection of their values — and the small details of the ceremony are taking on new importance. Who holds the rings during the wedding ceremony may seem like a tiny chore, but it shapes a moment everyone remembers: the exchange of promises, the exchange of metal and light. Are you planning that moment and wondering who should be entrusted with your bands? Together, we'll explore the traditions, practicalities, and thoughtful alternatives that help you decide with confidence.

We write from a place where craftsmanship meets conscience. At DiamondsByUK, we believe that how a ring is made matters as much as how it is worn. This post explains the roles people play in the ring exchange, the symbolism behind each choice, and clear, practical steps to choose and prepare the person who will hold your rings. We will weave in sustainable and custom options — from bespoke settings to tailored ring boxes — and explain how those choices support an ethical, elegant ceremony. Our thesis is simple: selecting who holds the rings is an intentional act that combines tradition, trust, and practicality, and with a little planning you can turn it into a seamless and meaningful part of your day.

The Tradition Behind Ring Bearing

What the Role Historically Signified

For centuries the exchange of rings has been a ritual that compresses commitment into a tangible token. The person who carries or presents the rings has, by extension, become part of that symbolic trust. Traditionally, the best man was entrusted with the rings because he stood nearest the groom and was considered the principal male attendant, a witness to the vows and a guardian of the couple’s promise.

Over time, that role expanded to include a younger ring bearer — often a child — who walks down the aisle carrying the bands on a pillow. The presence of a child as ring bearer symbolises continuity and the inclusion of family into the ceremony, but it does introduce practical concerns about responsibility and safety that many couples address today.

Why the Role Still Matters

Beyond ritual, entrusting someone with the rings is a logistical decision and a sign of honour. Whoever holds the rings is expected to keep them safe, present them at the right moment, and sometimes assist with slipping them on. For couples who choose rings as carefully as we help our clients design them, the role becomes part steward, part partner in the exchange: it requires reliability, calm under pressure, and a respect for the emotional weight of the moment.

Common People Who Hold the Rings During the Ceremony

The Best Man

Traditionally and practically, the best man is a natural choice. He is usually close to the groom, knows rehearsal details, and is already responsible for other tasks. For couples who prefer a straightforward approach, asking the best man to hold both bands is common and efficient. This consolidates responsibility and reduces the need for an extra hand at the altar.

When naming the best man as ring holder, clear communication matters. We advise confirming whether he will carry the rings on a small box, a pillow, or in his pocket. Choosing a secure presentation — a padded box, for instance — protects the rings and enhances the moment when they’re presented.

Maid of Honour, Bridesmaid, or Close Friend

Some couples spread the honour across both sides of the wedding party, with the maid of honour or a bridesmaid holding one ring while the best man holds the other. This balances representation and can be a considered way to include family and friends who played a special role in the engagement and wedding planning.

When assigning this duty to a member of the bridal party, we recommend selecting someone who will be present at the rehearsal and who understands the exchange sequence. The last thing you want is any confusion when it’s time to present the rings.

The Ring Bearer

A child ring bearer can be an endearing addition to a ceremony. Their presence adds tenderness and can be a beautiful family moment. However, because children may be unpredictable, many couples prefer that a ring bearer carry an empty pillow or a decorative prop while the actual bands are kept safely with an adult, such as the best man or officiant. If the child is mature and comfortable walking the aisle, the rings can be secured to the pillow with ribbon or kept on the pillow inside a small box.

Choosing a ring bearer requires sensitivity. Speak with the child’s parents, rehearse the walk, and decide if a parent should accompany them. This small preparation prevents stress on the big day and keeps the rings secure.

The Officiant

Some couples prefer to have the officiant hold the rings until the exchange. This approach removes any handing-off logistics during the processional and ensures someone present at the altar keeps them. It can be especially sensible in small ceremonies or when the wedding party is limited.

If the officiant holds the rings, ensure they are comfortable with the responsibility and that the rings are presented to them ahead of time. A discreet ring box keeps the bands safe and avoids any unnecessary movement during the ceremony.

Parents, Siblings, or Close Family Members

Choosing a parent or sibling to hold the rings is an emotional possibility. This option honours family ties and allows a close relative to participate directly in the ritual. If the couple selects a parent or sibling, plan logistics to seat them near the altar or to have the rings presented at the start of the ceremony.

Selecting family to hold the rings requires clear delegation — who will hand the rings to the officiant or best man, and how will they be presented? A prearranged signal or a trusted person to oversee the transfer helps everything run smoothly.

Combining Roles: Dual Holders

Some ceremonies divide duties: the best man holds the groom’s band while the maid of honour or ring bearer holds the bride’s. This option symbolically represents the joining of two families and gives multiple people a moment of honour. When choosing dual holders, practice the sequence so each person knows when to step forward.

Who Puts the Ring on First: Etiquette and Variations

Traditional Order

Traditionally, the groom places the wedding band on the bride’s finger first, followed by the bride placing the band on the groom’s finger. Historically, this reflected societal structures and symbolism. Today, many couples keep this order as a nod to custom while choosing wording and gestures that feel true to them.

Modern Alternatives

Many couples invert the order or decide together who will go first. For some, having the bride slip the ring on the groom first is a conscious statement of equality; for others, taking turns within the vows strengthens the reciprocity of the moment. The most important consideration is that the sequence feels authentic to the couple and is clearly communicated to those involved in the ceremony so there is no awkward pause.

Practical Considerations

The finger used for the wedding band varies by culture; in many Western traditions, the fourth finger on the left hand is chosen, but some cultures select the right hand. If you or your partner have ring alterations planned, make sure the rings are ready and sized well in advance so the ceremony flows without delay. If a ring does not slide on easily, a brief pause to describe the symbolism — or an exchange of a few heartfelt words — will not harm the moment.

Practical Steps to Decide Who Holds Your Rings

Start With Your Priorities

We encourage couples to begin by listing practical priorities: reliability, proximity during the ceremony, the person’s comfort with public moments, and symbolic meaning. If safeguarding the rings is paramount, choose an adult member of the wedding party or the officiant who will be near the altar. If family inclusion matters most, consider a parent or sibling.

Clarity is essential. Have a short, direct conversation with the chosen person or people. Tell them how the rings will be presented, what time to arrive with them, and whether a decorative box or pillow will be used.

Communicate at Rehearsal

The rehearsal is a critical time to confirm who holds the rings and practice the handoff. Include a rehearsal moment where the person carrying the rings walks through the exact sequence, so everyone knows where to stand and when to step forward. Rehearsal eliminates guesswork and the need for last-minute improvisation.

Create Redundancies

We recommend a backup plan. Keep one ring with the best man and the other secured with the maid of honour or the officiant. For added security, keep a duplicate plan: have the rings in a small, locked travel case that a trusted attendant carries to the ceremony site. Redundancy is not pessimism; it is practical foresight that preserves the moment.

Use a Secure Presentation

A small box with secure padding protects the rings better than a delicate pillow alone. If a ring bearer will walk down the aisle, consider attaching the rings to the pillow with ribbon or placing them inside a shallow box on the cushion. If you want a bespoke touch, a custom ring box or presentation piece elevates the moment and can be made from sustainable materials to align with your values. A careful presentation protects the rings and enhances the ritual’s visual memory.

Ceremony Logistics and Timing

When Rings Change Hands

Decide when the rings will be handed to the ring holder. Some couples supply the rings to the best man or officiant at the beginning of the ceremony; others prefer that they be kept with a wedding attendant until just before the exchange, to minimise the chance of misplacement. If the ring bearer participates, plan the crossing point where an attendant takes the rings and moves to the altar.

If the ceremony includes a processional for the wedding party, specify the rings bearer’s place in the procession and who, if anyone, will meet them at the altar to take the rings. Clear timing prevents last-minute scuffles and ensures the exchange remains contemplative.

What Happens If a Ring Goes Missing

It is rare, but it happens. The best defence is prevention: rehearsals, secure containers, and trusted attendants. If a ring is momentarily misplaced, remain composed. The officiant can pause for a brief moment of light reflection or a reading. Guests notice calm more than anything else, and a composed pause preserves the dignity of the ceremony. After the event, retrieve the ring quickly and continue with the rest of the celebration.

Personalising the Role to Reflect Your Values

Choosing People Who Reflect Your Story

Selecting who holds the rings is a moment to include people who share your values or significant relationships that shaped your life. This could mean choosing a sibling who stood by you through major milestones, a friend who introduced the couple, or someone who has provided emotional support.

For couples committed to sustainability and ethical practices, consider persons involved in that journey: those who accompanied you when reviewing ethically sourced stones or someone who has supported your commitment to conscious consumption. Making the role meaningful aligns the ceremony with the story behind the rings.

Making the Presentation Inclusive

Some couples use the moment to include multiple people — parents, siblings, and close friends — by having them participate in a small procession to present the rings, or by inviting them to stand and witness the exchange close to the altar. This choice must be balanced with ceremony flow, but when managed thoughtfully it creates communal ownership of the promises being made.

Practical Guidance for Children as Ring Bearers

Assess Readiness

Age and temperament matter. A confident three-year-old may be overwhelmed, while a well-drilled seven-year-old can do a beautiful job. Discuss expectations with parents and consider a rehearsal walk. If the child is nervous, offer alternatives: walking with a parent, carrying a symbolic pillow with faux rings, or walking with a sibling.

Secure the Rings

If you insist the child carry the real rings, ensure they are fastened to a pillow with ribbon or housed in a small box attached securely to the cushion. Have an adult walk within sight and be prepared to intercept if the child becomes distracted. The goal is to maintain the sweetness of the moment without risking the rings.

Consider an Adult Backup

Even with a capable ring bearer, have an adult hold the real bands and allow the child to carry a styled prop. This preserves the emotional effect while removing risk. If you decide to have both the child and an adult involved, rehearsing the transfer ensures a smooth handoff.

Ring Presentation and Keepsakes

Choosing a Presentation Piece That Matches Your Ring

The presentation piece should complement your rings’ design and the ceremony’s aesthetic. For example, a minimalist platinum band looks elegant in a simple linen-covered box; a vintage-inspired diamond ring pairs beautifully with an antique-style velvet box. If you have a customised engagement ring or wedding band, you can commission a bespoke box that echoes design cues from the ring — a subtle filigree motif or recycled wood lining to reflect a sustainable ethos.

If you prefer ready-made options, small, padded boxes are practical, secure, and photograph nicely. Whatever you choose, test the rings in the box to ensure they sit securely and don’t rattle.

Keepsake Options

After the ceremony, the presentation box becomes a small heirloom. Some couples engrave dates or initials inside the lid, while others keep a small fabric swatch from the wedding attire inside the box. If sustainability matters to you, seek presentation boxes made from reclaimed wood or recycled materials; the box can be a tangible expression of your values.

Custom Presentation and Bespoke Services

If you want a signature moment, consider having a presentation piece custom-made to match your rings. We craft bespoke settings and presentation pieces to reflect the design and values behind the ring itself, creating a cohesive aesthetic for both the exchange and future storage. If you are exploring unique presentation options or designing a ring with a specific story in mind, you can create a bespoke ring with details that translate into a personalised box or display, giving the exchange an unforgettable finish.

Designing Rings With Ceremony in Mind

Band Width, Comfort, and the Exchange

When choosing wedding bands, consider practical aspects that affect the exchange: band width, inside finish, and profile. A very wide band may resist sliding smoothly onto the finger, and a comfort-fit interior can ease the exchange. If you plan to have the rings slipped on during the vows, discuss sizing and fit with your jeweller to ensure a graceful and unhurried moment.

If you’re creating matching bands for both partners, the visual harmony can be meaningful. We recommend exploring paired bands that coordinate so that the rings reflect the couple’s shared aesthetic while still meeting each person’s comfort needs.

Selecting a Groom’s Band

Groom’s bands vary from classic simple metals to textured and gem-set styles. Practical considerations such as workplace, lifestyle, and personal taste should guide the choice. For those who prefer traditional silhouettes, timeless wedding bands offer enduring elegance and straightforward maintenance. For modern or active lifestyles, options with a brushed finish or low-profile design are both handsome and sensible. If you’re searching for a piece crafted specifically for him, explore options in our collection of bands designed for him.

When to Consider an Eternity or Anniversary Band

Some couples exchange simpler bands at the ceremony and present decorated or diamond-set rings at an anniversary. Others choose a full eternity or half-eternity ring as the wedding band for added brilliance. If a glittering line of stones is important to you, consider sparkling eternity styles but be mindful that fully-set eternity rings may require precise sizing; resizing can be difficult without altering the design.

Ethical Considerations When Choosing and Presenting Rings

Conflict-Free and Lab-Grown Options

Sourcing matters. Whether you choose ethically mined stones or lab-grown diamonds, the origin of a ring speaks to your values. We prioritise conflict-free practices and transparency so the person who holds your rings knows the story behind them. Lab-grown diamonds offer identical optical and physical properties to mined diamonds while reducing environmental and social impacts associated with traditional mining, and they often provide excellent value.

Materials and Sustainability

Beyond the stone, metals and settings have environmental and ethical impacts. Recycled gold, responsibly sourced platinum, and recycled metal settings reduce environmental footprints without compromising quality. Choosing sustainable materials aligns the ceremony’s symbolism with responsible consumption.

Transparency and Certification

When you choose rings with clear certification and provenance, you give your ring holder—and every witness—a traceable story. Certificates and transparent sourcing practices provide peace of mind that the jewellery embodies integrity as much as beauty.

Photography and the Ring Exchange

Capturing the Moment

The exchange of rings is a focal point for the photographer. The person holding the rings becomes part of the composition, and the presentation piece (pillow, box, or hand) creates a visual anchor. Practice the handoff at rehearsal and discuss angles with your photographer: whether they should focus on hands, faces, or both.

We advise keeping the presentation piece clean and simple so it enhances rather than distracts from the rings. For rings with delicate detailing, a small movement can reveal the design beautifully, so allow the photographer a second to capture the slip-on and reaction.

Staging for Intimate Ceremonies

In smaller ceremonies, subtle staging — such as having the ring holder stand slightly to the side or holding the rings discreetly — keeps the focus on the couple. For larger venues, a central presentation with the ring holder at the altar helps ensure visibility for guests and cameras alike.

What to Do If You Decide Not to Have a Ring Bearer

Alternative Presentation Ideas

If you decide against a ring bearer, there are many elegant alternatives. The best man or maid of honour can hold the bands, the officiant can keep them, or the rings can be presented in a tasteful box on a small stand near the altar. Some couples involve a parent to walk the rings down the aisle and hand them to the officiant, creating an emotional family moment without placing responsibility on a child.

Simple, Secure Approaches

For simplicity, we often recommend one of two approaches: an attendant (best man or maid of honour) holds the rings in a secure box until the exchange, or the officiant keeps the rings at the altar. Both approaches reduce the chances of misplacement and streamline the ceremony.

Communication Templates: What to Tell Your Ring Holder

Before the Day

Tell your ring holder where to be and when to arrive. Confirm how the rings will be presented (box, pillow, or ribbon), who will hand them off if necessary, and whether they should remain near the altar after the exchange.

A brief message can be warm and practical: let them know the rehearsal time, the exact position during the ceremony, and a reminder that their role is an honour that helps the flow of the event.

On the Day

Provide a final quick briefing just before the ceremony: where to stand, how to present the rings to the officiant or couple, and whether they should speak or remain silent. Keep the instructions short and confident — clarity reduces nerves.

Photos, Keepsakes and Aftercare

Caring for Rings After the Ceremony

The rings deserve proper care. After the vows, advise the couple to clean and store their rings correctly. Avoid harsh chemicals, and schedule a professional inspection if the rings are set with delicate stones. Regular polishing and check-ups keep settings secure and metal in excellent condition.

Turning the Presentation Piece into an Heirloom

A well-made presentation box becomes a family keepsake. Consider having the date engraved on the box, or include a short note inside. These small gestures make the box a treasured repository of the day’s memory.

How We Help at DiamondsByUK

We work with couples to make both the ring and its presentation harmonious with ceremony logistics and ethical values. Whether you want a band set that pairs flawlessly with an engagement ring or a bespoke wedding band handcrafted from recycled metal, our expertise in design and sourcing ensures your rings reflect your story and values.

For couples seeking coordinated looks, we offer collections that consider how the engagement ring and wedding band will sit together, and we encourage clients to try matched sets to ensure comfort and balance. If you prefer something made to order, we can create a bespoke ring that fits the exact moment and personhood you envision, from the stone selection to the final polish.

We also design presentation pieces that marry style and security. A thoughtfully designed box not only secures the rings during the ceremony but becomes a keepsake that speaks to craftsmanship and care.

Quick Summary of Who Typically Holds the Rings

• Best man or maid of honour often hold the rings for practicality and proximity.
• A ring bearer can carry a symbolic pillow while an adult keeps the real rings secured.
• Officiants or close family members provide reliable, simple alternatives.

FAQ

Who holds the rings during the wedding ceremony if we don't have a best man?

If you don't have a best man, consider an equivalent trusted attendant such as the maid of honour, a close family member, or the officiant. The priority is reliability and proximity to the altar so the rings can be presented without disruption.

Can the ring bearer carry the real rings?

Yes, if the child is mature and comfortable, but we recommend securing the bands to a cushion or using a small box fastened to the pillow. For peace of mind, many couples have an adult hold the real rings and let the child carry an empty pillow or decorative prop.

Should the bride or groom put the ring on first?

Traditionally the groom places the ring on the bride’s finger first, but modern couples choose the order that best reflects their intentions. The sequence can be traditional, reversed, or jointly agreed; the key is clear communication so the ceremony flows gracefully.

What should be done if a ring doesn't fit during the ceremony?

If a ring is tight, remain composed and allow a brief, thoughtful pause. Consider using a small amount of water or hand lotion to help slide it on gently, or if needed, postpone final placement until after the ceremony. The sentiment is what matters most, and guests understand that love transcends minor delays.

Conclusion

Deciding who holds the rings during the wedding ceremony is a small act with a meaningful impact. It is both a practical decision and an opportunity to honour relationships, express values, and craft a moment that is secure, personal, and memorable. From the traditional reliability of the best man to the tender inclusion of a ring bearer, each choice reflects the story you want to tell at the altar. Thoughtful preparation — rehearsals, secure presentation pieces, and clear communication — ensures the rings are kept safe and the exchange is experienced exactly as you intend.

If you would like to design a wedding band or presentation piece that reflects your values and fits your ceremony perfectly, we would love to help you create a bespoke ring.